Make me yours! Penetration or not in sex between women

Well, what a great song I bring you today! is not true? I find talking about sex fascinating, especially because it is a topic with many facets.

First, it is changing, because no, we do not always enjoy it in the same way. As we gain maturity and experience in the subject, things that previously excited us or that we discarded now seem quite the opposite and we are eager to try them and it is perfectly normal for this to happen.

If your tastes or preferences in bed change with you, if you discover some paraphilia that excites you and that previously made you feel uncomfortable or embarrassed, don't be alarmed, much less embarrassed! Understand that sex is one of the most changing things that exists and that it evolves with you, for your happiness and pleasure.

Second, there is no formula. There is no script, script or manual through which you can make love to all the women you meet on your way and this is essential that you understand if you want to enjoy and be a good lover.

Intimacy with another person is a closed code between those two bodies (not to mention threesomes, for example), in which things such as each person's experience, their expectations, their tastes, affinities and what they are willing to do come into play. explore or not.

Third, each trip in itself is a different route. It doesn't matter if the travelers are the same, it is always a new experience and you should take it as such. So you will understand that there are days where the fire licks the ceiling, others in which things flow better, others in which the situation develops more slowly or there are those in which chemistry does not appear on the scene at all.

Does this mean that my relationship is in crisis and that the fire singed us? No. This means that we are human and as such, we have our days. Hormonal changes, the things that worry or stress us, the situation at home or away, expectations, the cost of living, the boss we hate... Everything, everything can influence to a greater or lesser extent the libido and it is valid to understand it, discuss it and identify it!

Having said that, let's get to what concerns us today:

Inside or outside...what about penetration in sex between women?

Penetration during sex between lesbian or bisexual women is a topic that has generated much debate and discussion in today's society. It is often assumed that sex between women must necessarily include penetration, but this is not even remotely true .

To start, it's important to note that penetration is not the only way to have sex . Sex between women can be incredibly pleasurable and satisfying without the need for penetration. In fact, many lesbian and bisexual women prefer not to engage in penetration during sex .

Especially when it comes to this topic, I can put myself on both points of the scale perfectly. Throughout my life I have been with women who are fascinated by being penetrated and others who do not admit it at all. In my case, my preferences have varied from one thing to another, with a wide spectrum of possibilities, but... Why some yes and others no? This is bad? Am I the one who has a problem, is she the one who should go to a sexologist?

This can be due to a wide variety of reasons, including the fact that penetration can be painful or uncomfortable for some women, or that they simply prefer other forms of sexual stimulation.

Remember that we can have vaginal or clitoral orgasms and that one does not inhibit the other in any way. We tend to deify the clitoral orgasm, without stopping to think that there are women who do not feel the same with mere friction or superficial stimulation and vice versa. We believe that penetration must be a must if we are going to go to bed with that girl we like and we could be surprised that she does not allow it.

End of the world? No, girls! What really needs to be put to rest are the myths, especially when it comes to sex between women!

The clear things regarding penetration

There are those who argue that penetration is an important part of sex between women. Some people believe that penetration can be a way to show love and connection, and that it is an important part of sexual intimacy.

If you ask me and from my humble experience, I believe that this is an idea that we assume by association. Association with sex between a man and a woman, in which penetration usually plays a central role. Yes, it is true that some women really enjoy being penetrated, that they consider it essential to have pleasure and achieve orgasm, they even propose the incorporation of gadgets such as dildos, harnesses and other sex toys, but... Attention! Not everyone is in this group.

It is extremely important to consider that the idea that penetration is the only way to have fulfilling sexual relations can be very limiting. Hey, girls, seriously: VERY LIMITING, like that, in sustained capital letters, because among the aspects of sex that I mentioned before we must leave a section in itself for creativity and how that leads us to higher experiences.

In reality, sex between women can be incredibly varied and can include a wide range of sexual activities, from oral sex to manual stimulation and smearing; positions that favor the encounter of the genitals (and that we must put into practice responsibly, because yes, among us the risk of contagion of venereal diseases EXISTS. It is not a myth), suffocating days of eroticism...

When I say the list is long: it is long! Furthermore, penetration is not exclusive to intimate relationships and not all women find it necessary or desirable during sex. You can even choose to be penetrated on some occasions and not on others, challenging your lover's imagination and opening horizons towards new paths.

Mommy, what if we talk about sex?

It is important to remember that sex is something that should be consensual and that couples should communicate openly and honestly about what they like and don't like. Yes, yes, I always hammer on them about being honest and saying things with empathy, love and clarity, but... what do I do? What do I do if that is the key to success, especially in sex?

By not openly talking about our expectations, by leaving everything to romantic intuition or the hyper-deformed idea we have of intimacy courtesy of pornography, disasters happen. It happens that she violates you in bed without you wanting it, much less asking for it, or even imagining it; that you feel like shit when you're supposed to be floating on a cloud or that you're downright disappointed and dissatisfied.

Communication before, during and after sex is not a passion-killing topic or boring old woman stuff. No! It is nothing more and nothing less than a healthy, stimulating dynamic, which will undoubtedly take them to another and another level.

This is particularly important in the context of sexual relationships between women, since there is no "right" or "wrong" way to make love. Every couple is unique and what works for one couple may not work for another.

Additionally, it is important to note that penetration is not the only way to achieve orgasm. Many women can achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation or other forms of sexual stimulation. Don't forget that there is something called tantric sex, for example, and I can tell you about this another time!

Some studies have shown that lesbian and bisexual women have more frequent and more intense orgasms than heterosexual women, and this is not necessarily due to penetration or not. It's because of the connection, the time you dedicate to foreplay and getting eroticized. It is due to intuitiveness, paying attention to sounds, body reactions, all the indicators that show you that you are on the right track and that she is enjoying it as much as you are.

It is also due to how much time you have dedicated to getting to know yourself, getting to know her, and healthily sharing the conclusions you have reached after that type of exploration. It is also a consequence of dedication, of doing things equitably without falling into selfishness or pettiness.

Anyway... penetration or not, that's the dilemma? Well if you ask me, no dilemma. Just open your mind, be respectful of the things that excite her, those that you prefer to stay with, and become the adventurers of your personal journey of pleasure.

Good luck with that and don't forget to calibrate the compass!

Angela.