What kind of lesbian are you?

Don't think I've never asked myself this question. Of course, a long time ago, when I was facing my orientation with enthusiasm and pride (after a rather gray period in which I doubted and even went into denial) I had a clearer idea of the way in which I identified myself as a woman who loves others, but in my usual exercise of lesbianity, this was an issue that I had practically forgotten.

I will not go into details that are not relevant, since a lot of water (and experiences) have flowed under this bridge. Precisely for this reason, one of these nights, while I was working, I heard my wife very excitedly watching a reel in which a Mexican girl asked others: What kind of lesbian are you?

Upon hearing that, my mind went blank and I immediately asked myself the usual questions: what kind of lesbian am I? And is there such a thing as one type or several types of lesbian ? What if I don't identify with any of them? What if, on the contrary, I do have a very defined role and I ignore it?

Then I remember looking at my wife and asking her, “What kind of lesbian do you think I am?” To which she responded: “I don't know, I bet you that must have changed a lot now…” and that's how, motivated by that curiosity, I did this little research.

I know that many of you already have an idea of what role you identify with, but for those who are not sure, like me, or are simply curious, here is a small guide that clarified many things for me and even surprised me with possibilities that definitely I didn't know

butch

We start with the butch, although it must be clarified that some find this term annoying, but you already know that between tastes and colors...

These girls usually have a more masculine appearance and behavior. They love to wear clothes that are traditionally associated with men and often have a short haircut. But, be careful, this does not mean that all butches feel like men, they simply enjoy this style and adopt it as part of their possibilities when dressing, defining their image or attitude.

Femme

Femme, on the other hand, are girls who have a more feminine appearance and behavior. They love makeup, feminine clothing and, in general, everything that is traditionally associated with femininity.

Many times, people assume they are straight, but don't be fooled by appearances. I understand that some femme girls constantly express that as lesbians they have no luck at all, because they apparently go "unnoticed" although I can assure you that under the gaze of the right eyes... The subtleties are obvious!

Well, up to this point it could be said that these two, adding to the Tomboy, were the usual classifications and particularly the ones that I, at the time when I asked myself the obligatory question, knew.

Now get ready, because things get very different with subtleties so small that sometimes they seem imperceptible.

Chapstick Lesbian

I didn't know this role at all, so it was one of the firsts of my research. A chapstick lesbian is somewhere between butch and femme. They like a more relaxed and comfortable look, which can include jeans and t-shirts, but they also enjoy looking a little girly when they feel like it.

They are like the perfect middle ground. In my case, at times I identify quite well with this category, however, I do not take things to the extreme.

If there was something like Soft Femme, I would undoubtedly be there, although in the best of cases, I prefer to say that I am a LESBIAN WITHOUT A LAST NAME and that's it. I know that many will support me in that reflection, because there are people who do not like labels, much less pigeonhole themselves and this is perfectly valid.

Androgyne or Androgynes

Androgynes have a mix of masculine and feminine characteristics. They can change their appearance and style from one day to the next. Today they can wear a dress and tomorrow a suit. They are super versatile!

Speaking of them, I can confess that they are one of the girls' styles that I like the most...

Soft Butch

Soft butch are like butch, but a little less masculine. They like to mix clothes of both genders, and although they have a slightly more masculine energy, they can also have softer elements in their style.

Stem, a new type of lesbian?

A stem (a term that comes from the words “stud” and “femme”) is a combination of both. These girls can be feminine one day and masculine the next. They like to play with both styles and do not feel limited by any label.

Lipstick Lesbian

These are girls who are very feminine, but love other women. They love makeup, heels and anything glamorous. They are like femme, but taken to the next level.

tomboy

Tomboys are girls who feel comfortable with a more masculine style, however, they do not necessarily identify as butch. They love comfortable clothing, like t-shirts and jeans, and tend to have interests that society typically associates with boys.

Boi

A boi is a girl who presents herself in a very masculine way, but does not identify as a man.

They can have a very masculine style and are often more comfortable in roles traditionally associated with men.

Transfeminine/Transmasculine

These are girls who can identify anywhere on the gender spectrum. Transfeminine are those who identify more with femininity, while transmasculine identify more with masculinity. Each one has their own unique experience.

Genderqueer/Nonbinary

These people do not identify strictly as women or men. Your gender identity can be fluid, and they can present themselves in very different ways. Sometimes they may feel more feminine and other times more masculine, or even neither.

At the end of the day, the most important thing is to be yourself! Don't feel pressured to fit into a specific category. Diversity is beautiful and each of us is unique. So whether you're butch, femme, or anything else, embrace who you are and be proud of it!

I hope this guide has helped you understand a little more about the different types of lesbians and bisexuals. Which one do you identify with? Let me know in the comments!